Memories of What Could Have Been But Never Was
by The-Caring-Misanthrope
Summary: Snake reflects on start and end of his brief relationship with Doll. Disclaimer: I don't own anything!


-Hi everybody! So this is my first ever story to ever be posted on the site. I worked hard on it, but I still don't like some parts! Anyways, please enjoy!

* * *

The man sat on the soft, plush bed that he now called his own. The room was small but not uncomfortably so. There was a small desk in one corner, which was piled with old, dusty photographs of those he used to call family. The walls were bare, except for a small window that was halfway hidden by an overly expensive looking curtain. His new work outfits were hidden away in a small closet that stood beside the window. There was room for all of his friends, his snakes, to move about freely without getting in the way. It had been a year since he had first came to the place he now called home. A year exactly since that day that stole her life away. A year since his world was turned upside down and gutted viciously.

The man stood near the window, looking out as the sun finally set and the moon slowly rose. He sighed quietly as he closed his curtains, walking to his closet and slowly undressing. As each piece of clothing was shed, his pale, scaly skin was bared to the world. He looked at said skin for the briefest of moments before he walked to his bed, dressing in the night clothes that he had laid there earlier in the day. Once finished, he sank onto his bed, pulling the chilled covers up to his chin. He curled into a ball, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to fight back the tears that were threating to spill. As he laid there, his snake friends gathered onto his bed alongside the man, covering him like a second blanket. Even though the snakes were as cold as the winter air that blew outside, the warmth of their love seeped into the man's skin.

The man was glad that his snake friends were allowed to remain with him at his new home. They were the only family that he had left, since the rest were killed that day one year ago. _She was also killed that day_, he thought sadly. She who was the first to ever love the monster of a man that now laid in the frigid bed. Though he had not heard her words for so long, he could still hear her voice whispering the words that she would say to him while they were alone. As he thought of her, his body suddenly grew colder. Just thinking of her made his heart sink and break once more.

_If only I could turn back time and change it all….._The young man thought to himself before falling into a restless sleep that was filled with memories of a time when he was truly happy.

* * *

It was during the brief introductions that he first laid eyes upon her. Though countless hands were hesitantly held out, one hand that was eagerly thrusted towards him caught his attention. The hand was a soft peach color, void of any blemishes. Slowly lifting his strikingly green eyes from the ground, he was met with the most beautiful pair of sky blue eyes that he had ever seen. Dressed in a pure white dress that was adorned with flowers of the same color, a girl stood before him and smiled slightly. Her voice, so angelic like, was music to his ears. She smiled a little more as she saw his eyes widen as she spoke. She introduced herself as the tightrope walker Doll before she turned, ever so gracefully, and left.

The next day was a day free from any performances, so the leader of the circus, a man named Joker, asked that all new members came to the practice tent to show the others what they had. After a few other people had performed, the green eyed man slowly walked to the middle of a circle that was made up of the first-tier circus members. Snake, as he was now to be known, looked around nervously as he waited for the signal to start. All eyes were focused on Snake, but the one pair that he wanted to find was nowhere to be seen. He lightly sighed as he was told to start, but he did as he was told. While performing with his snake friends, he glanced around the circle again after he head mumbling arise from the crowd. Many "ooo's" and "aah's" assaulted his ears, along with a few gasps. He never understand so many people's fascination with his routine, his friends were just playing around and dancing to the music.

He gazed disdainfully around at the crowd, though his spirits quickly soared. He had finally found the pair of eyes that he had been looking for. But something was different. This girl had blemished skin, along with freckles that adorned her face. As if to rub it in even more, this girl was the one that was making all of the appalling sounds that assaulted his sensitive ears.

He quickly lost all hope and sighed silently, looking back at his snakes as his music started to fade out. He guessed that the girl named Doll had not thought it was important to watch his trial performance. Applause flooded the tent when his music had finally stopped all together. Joker began to walk towards Snake, smiling brightly. Before he was able to reach him though, the annoying freckled face girl ran right up to him and smiled brightly. She began to speak quickly to Snake, telling him how entraining and fascinating it was to watch his performance. The only thing that Snake could think about though was how annoying he found the girl's voice. High pitched and squeally, paired with the most annoying accent he had ever heard, he scoffed and turned his head away. As he did this, he caught a glimpse of her eyes again.

_They look just like Doll's…_

The first-tier members finally made their way over and they were all 'happy' to have a new member join their tier. Joker informed Snake that since he was the only snake charmer, he had been placed in their tier. A few of the members smiled encouragingly at Snake, though he could tell that all the smiles were forced. The only true smiles he had seen since he came to the circus were Joker's, the annoying girl's and Doll's. The group started to chatter away, explaining things such as the rules and show times. Snake noticed that the annoying girl had walked over to the opening of the tent and was waving at him. He blinked once, wondering if she was really waving at him, but when his eyes opened again, she was already gone, leaving him surrounded by the annoying chattering people.

* * *

He only saw Doll during performances. As he waited for his turn, he always watched her. He sighed silently to himself he watched._ She is always so beautiful and graceful…_ he thought to himself. After her performance was done, it was his turn. She would walk past him as he entered the tent and strangely, she would whisper soft words of encouragement. He felt his heart race after she spoke and, while he performed, his heart would never slow, for she would stand outside and watch him. He never understood why, but he never questioned it. After he was done, she would be gone. She would be gone until the next performance.

Performance nights were what he lived for anymore. Even if he only saw her for the briefest of moments, he lived for them.

* * *

The tent he was given was at the front of all the other first-tier member's. He knew they were taking advantage of the fact that some of his snakes were poisonous, but he felt no scorn. They had all accepted him as a new family member, though he could tell that a few were afraid still, but he was thankful. They did not even mind his scaly skin that much.

For once in his life, he felt at home. Especially when he was near Doll, though he never knew if she felt the same way or not.

* * *

Several weeks after he joined the circus, he had the most memorable moment of his life. It happened a few moments before the night's performance was to begin. Having delt with various people all day, he felt as if he would explode on the next person to speak to him. Lost in his own thoughts, he jumped slightly and hissed as he felt a slight tugging on his sleeve. Upon turning around, he became face to face with the girl he had been thinking about since he joined.

Doll stood before him, smiling softly. Snake's eyes widened as she slowly turned around and asked, in a voice that would make angels jealous, if he would help tie the back of her dress. He agreed and, with shaky hands, he slowly and carefully began to tie it up. He tried to stay focused, but his gaze kept wandering to her perfect, unblemished skin. Everything about this girl was perfect, from her beautiful eyes to her beautiful skin. She was everything that Snake was not. Nearly finished, his hand slipped and just barely grazed her skin. He heart dropped as he quickly pulled back and whimpered, waiting for the cry of disgust and panic to sound.

Instead though, he felt his face suddenly be taken into two soft hands. Slowly opening his eyes, he stared directly into those hauntingly beautiful, blue eyes. She spoke to Snake in such a low, soft voice that it took him a moment to process what she had just said.

"There's no need to flinch away silly. There's nothing wrong with you, you don't have to be afraid. Right now, you're surrounded by people that love you."

She smiled a genuine smile as she slowly pulled back and turned around once more, waiting for Snake to finish. He began to tie her dress again, letting his hands brush her skin whenever he could. She was the only person who never shrank away in fear at the feel of his skin. Even the other members of his 'family' flinched away, as though they were bitten by one of his snakes.

Doll though…..Doll had willingly touched his skin. Doll did not mind his scaly, rough hands. Instead of the mocking or fear that he was used to, she seemed to not even notice that he was different. The scales that caused him to be treated like a common rat by everyone else seemed to nonexistent to her. He was thankful that she never said anything, he could not handle it if she had.

He was abruptly brought back from his thoughts by Doll's voice. He blinked a few times as she turned around and smiled at him, laughing softly at the confused look on his face.

"Thanks for your help Snake. We need to get going though, the show is about to start."

She slowly held her hand out and smiled encouragingly. When Snake didn't take ahold of it, she rolled her eyes and took his hand, holding it tightly. Snake squirmed at the sudden tough, which caused Doll to lightly laugh again. They walked to the performance tent, Doll holding Snake's hand tightly in her own the whole way. When they entered the tent, Doll turned and lightly kissed his cheek, whispering a few words into his ear.

"I will stop by your tent afterwards, okay?"

Those few words that she spoke made Snake's heat stop. Stop by afterwards? Why did she want to do that? What did a girl like that want with someone as disgusting and inhuman as himself? He blinked as she walked past him and into the applause filled tent, ready to perform her heavenly act. Those questions ran through his mind the whole time he watched her perform and during his own.

* * *

Snake sat on his bed after his performance, waiting nervously for Doll to show. She did not stay to watch his performance like she usually did, but quickly left after her own. Though he was a nervous wreck, his snake friends roamed freely, conversing amongst themselves about Snake's odd behavior. Emily, one of his more friendly snakes, slithered away from the group and onto Snake's bed, silently sliding into his lap. Snake, completely unaware of his friends' presence, jumped in surprise and gave her a harsh stare, obviously upset that he was taken away from his thoughts. As Emily opened her mouth to inquire about his wandering mind and odd color rushed to his cheeks as he quietly mumbled something about another human coming to visit. At this, all of the snakes turned towards their human friend with shock. Someone was coming to visit their human friend? This did not make sense to the snakes,they could smell the fear that came from all of the circus freaks.

As Wilde was about to throw out some snide comment, the flaps of the tent were opened and in walked another human. The group of snakes, except from Emily, slithered away and hid in the corner of the tent where it was dark. They waited and watched, wanting to see who could cause their friend to be so removed after his performance.

Snake quickly looked up to the entrance with bright eyes that dulled rather quickly. Instead of Doll, in walked that annoying, strange girl. She smiled brightly at Snake and came to a standstill right before him. Snake spoke through Emily, as he usually did with everyone except Doll, and asked the girl, rather rudely, what she wanted. Said girl blinked, looking as confused as Snake felt, before she started to lightly giggle. Her giggles sounded rather similar to the one he had heard just a few hours previous. The giggling stopped just as quickly as it started as the girl leaned down, putting her face right in front of Snakes. She spoke in such a voice that it was plainly obvious that an amused smirk was on her face.

"I said I would come, did I not? I never break a promise don't you know?"

Snake sat froze as everything finally clicked into place. The reason this girl shared so many features as Doll was because she was Doll. Snake felt the color rise in his cheeks for the second time that night. He felt so unintelligent as Doll stood up straight once more and smiled warmly at him. She carefully sat next to Snake then laid back, stretching out on his bed. She closed her blue eyes as she cuddled against his side, laying her head on his pillow.

"Don't cha feel bad now, only the first-tier members know. I suspect the rest think as you did."

Snake continued to flush as he looked at the girl on his bed. Never had he been this close to another human, let alone the girl that he had strange feelings for. While he gazed at her, Doll's eyes suddenly opened as she sat up once more, moving unbearably close to Snake with another smirk on her face.

"Aww, scared to be near a girl eh? I promise I won't bite you."

Snake's breath hitched and he drew back, earning another giggle from Doll as she moved close to him again. Emily, who had silently stayed on Snake's lap the whole time, held up her head and hissed at Doll. Said girl immediately drew back, shocked at the snakes reaction. Snake, finally snapping out of his daze, looked down at Emily and lightly smiled. He slowly picked her up and set her on the floor, telling her to join the others. Doll looked at Snake again and smiled, giggling quietly.

"So you can actually talk to snakes? That is pretty amazing. Do you think you could teach me?"

Snake blinked at the question then shook his head, smiling ever so slightly. Doll pouted at his response then laid back down. She motioned for Snake to join him. Hesitantly, he slowly laid down beside her. When he did, he suddenly felt a soft pair of lips covering his own. Though it lasted for only seconds, it felt like an entire lifetime to Snake. When Doll slowly drew back, her face was flushed, though nowhere near as flushed as Snake was, who currently was as red as a tomato. She quietly curled up on her side and faced away from the boy, closing her eyes tightly. Confused as to what he should do, Snake slowly laid down on the far side of the bed, making sure he was as far away from the girl as he could possibly be.

* * *

For the next few weeks, the nights went on the same way. After performances they retired to Snake's tent, where Doll had seemed to have taken permanent residence at. Most of the time they would just lay together, talking about their lives before they had came to the circus. Snake told her about his time in the freak show cage and she had told her about her time on the streets. He had learned how her left eye came to be the way it was, and he made sure to kiss it daily, just as she would do with his scales. Some nights though, they would lay together under the stars in empty fields. Cuddling together, they would gaze at the night time sky and point out the funny shapes they found among the stars. After a while of star gazing, they would share the sweetest of kisses. Though they never went any farther than a few moments when their lips would mold together, they were both as happy as anyone couple could be. After talking for a while, no matter where they were, they would fall asleep in each other's arms but not before muttering soft I love you's to each other. Snake would hold the girl tightly, afraid that one day she would leave him forever.

* * *

Snake awoke with a sudden start. He slowly sat up, noticing that he felt very wet. Looking down at himself, he noticed that he was covered in sweat and tears. He quickly wiped at his face, hoping that his snake friends would not wake to see in him such a state. As though to mock his wish, he felt one of his friends move beside him and he felt the cool skin against his own. Emily, who was always Doll's favorite, had moved onto his lap and laid her head against his chest. He sighed lightly and sniffled, petting her head.

As he felt his heart rate slow, he laid back, draping an arm over his eyes to block the moonlight from his face. His friends moved closer to his body once more, searching for his heat. He shuddered as he remembered how perfect his life had been before _those_ two came to the circus. Though he now lived in the brat's manor, though he knew that the brat was lying when he said his family was still alive, he could not bring himself to want to avenge his family. He felt it in his heart the moment his family and his love were murdered. That was the only time his friends saw him cry, though they never spoke to him about it. Now, only a year after his family was murdered, he was living at the murderer's house, serving him like a loyal dog. The worst part of all this was, he honestly didn't mind. He sighed and closed his eyes, wishing for sleep to come again and hoping to see her sky blue eyes once more. Hoping to hear her voice speak those words once more.

* * *

-Well, what did you guys think? Is it any good? Please review and tell me what I can do better next time! But don't be too harsh!

-Cat


End file.
